You are.

7F009747-3C4B-467C-90CE-0F5723987CD3You know those funks you catch yourself slipping into from time to time? Those days that your brain tries to tell you that you’re not a good enough mom, you need step it up as a wife, your friendships are fading because maybe you did something wrong, you are losing confidence because you aren’t taking care of yourself… you know, those days?

When in all reality we are good moms, it’s just a hard season of motherhood right now. Our kids may be going through a new phase that comes with their age, or it could be the fact that it’s summer break and we are running around trying to do all the things before school starts back. (Or maybe you’re on the verge of losing it if they ask for one more dang snack, can I get an amen?) And due to that you’re exhausted by the end of the day which is making the quality time with your husband dwindle, but it will come back. You know it will. And all of your friends are busy with their kids and activities (and snack making) as well, so while you may feel alone – they are probably going through the same thing, and neither of you did anything wrong to the other. The hustle & bustle life is leaving you with little time to yourself, so you may not be feeling as confident physically or mentally right now, but it’s okay, you know you will get back to it soon, you always do.

We ALL deal with this. Every single one of us. Our bodies and minds stay so busy during certain seasons of life that when we finally get a minute to slow down we start to doubt ourselves. Is everything we are doing even worth it? This is when we have to refocus on the fact that just because one period of time may be chaotic right now, that doesn’t mean it always will be. Embrace the chaos. Smoother days are ahead, and you will embrace those too.

You’re a good mom, a great mom actually. Your husband admires your strength and ability to juggle it all. Your friends can’t wait to have a girls night and catch up on life. And you look beautiful – as usual.

-Paige

 

 

Check On Your “Happy” Friends

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WOW – I haven’t updated this blog since July… 6 whole months. Mommin’, workin’, and livin’ have kept me occupied for a while – but, I wanted to take some time to really touch on a subject that is not only important but something that has hit close to home for me lately.

Within in the past 1-2 months, I have seen suicide take the lives of 3 men in my community. All 3 in different stages of life, ages, backgrounds, etc.

The first one happened and I was so saddened for the wife because I personally know her, yet I hadn’t met him. Being a wife myself  I couldn’t image the heartbreak she felt. The second was just a short time later and my heart broke for one of my best friends, as this person was very close to her and her husband and I couldn’t imagine losing a friend like that at such a young age. The most recent situation shattered me completely, as it is someone I have known nearly my entire life. I grew up playing dress up with him and his sister, I’ve spent several holidays with his family, and I have memories galore to cherish forever. And being an older sister myself, my heart broke to see his sister have this pain. A pain I pray is eased every single day for her and her family.

Even though all 3 of these men are different in many ways, I can tell you I know they had 1 thing in common for sure – they were always smiling, they seemed happy, they were fun to be around, and they would do anything for anyone. I have seen comment after comment of how joyful these men were… yet, they were battling something inside they didn’t let many people see.

I also have a mom support group on Facebook where women of all stages of motherhood come to laugh, seek advice, share their struggles or victories, and so forth… and there are many times there are posts made about postpartum depression or anxiety, from women I always assumed were happy. They have a nice house, a husband, beautiful children, they get to stay home or they have a great career… but, sometimes they feel alone. Or they fee empty, emotionally and physically.

Depression and anxiety aren’t always superficial. Those struggles are often battled deep within – by someone you may even be very close to. It’s often the people that are always checking on others, and we don’t realize they are the ones who need to be checked on.

All of this to say, check on your “happy” friends. Just because Sarah posted a cute Instagram photo of her smiling yesterday, doesn’t mean she isn’t crying today. When you casually bump into Jessica at the grocery store and bring up planning a lunch date or going to dinner soon, follow through. That socialization and outing away from the house and kids may be exactly what she needed to refresh her mind and spirit.

Mental health is SO important. If you need off of work to relax and focus on yourself, do it. If you need a weekend getaway with your spouse or friends, do it – don’t feel guilty for getting a sitter for the kids. If you need counseling, please go talk to someone. If you need medication, do not be ashamed. Mental illness is real and we need to stop making it so taboo. It is much more common than you think.

And if you’re the praying kind, pray. Pray for the families that are left behind by a mental health issue. Pray for the ones that are struggling. Pray that they can somehow overcome it. Pray for God to lead you in a way that you can be the sunshine in someone’s day.

Love people, and love them BIG. 

-Paige

Girl, Wash Your Face: The Book Every Girl Needs To Get Their Hands On… ASAP!

‘Girl, Wash Your Face’ by Rachel Hollis is hands down the best book I have read in my lifetime. I’m not a huge reader so it’s not saying much, BUT that is besides the point. I’m not sure if it’s because it is so spot on with the season of my life I’m in or what, but any female needs to get their hands on a copy, ASAP. I know that sounds incredibly dramatic, but like… FOR REAL. Girl, read it.

I decided to try Audible for the first time & listen to the book rather then read it, and it’s honestly been the best decision I’ve made in a while. Listening works so much better for me rather reading. I’m the type of person who drifts on to never-land & begins to think about 94 different things while trying to read a book. Never fails, I’m always re-reading the same paragraph multiple times until I get focused again. So an audio book is exactly what I’ve needed this whole time, it just took me 20+ years to figure it out. But hey, better late than never!

This book is for you. For any single lady reading this right now, it’s for you. You need it and you don’t even know it. I honestly started reading/listening to ‘Girl, Wash Your Face’ because I saw it alllll over social media. Everyone was raving about it so I figured okay, let’s see what all the fuss is about. Girls… IT SPOKE TO MY SOUL. Like within just a couple of pages (heck maybe after just a few sentences) I couldn’t stop.

If you are married, single, a mom, a friend, a sister, a daughter… read this book. If you are in the happiest season of your life, the worst, insecure, confident, stressed out, happy-go-lucky… read this book. If you are a boss, an employee, a dreamer, an introvert, an extrovert… read this book. If you are struggling with a relationship, a friendship, a career decision, family issues, health issues… read this book.

If you are in any season of life where you just feel stuck… you feel BLAH… you feel unsure… you feel scared… you think you’re not worthy of something… you want more out of life… THIS IS YOUR BOOK!

If you want to feel motivated, confident, understood, brave, happy… THIS IS YOUR BOOK!

I read/listened to the book in a matter of days, and was literally sad when it was over. Which is why I’m already listening to it again!

Some things I learned:

  • I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, AND IT’S OKAY. It’s okay to not be everyone’s favorite person. It’s okay for someone to dislike you. It’s okay to be YOU.
  • Dream without worrying about the opinions of others. My dreams are MINE to chase.
  • Stop worrying about the people who aren’t worried about you.
  • Stop trying to plan/manage every aspect of life. The best memories come from the moments you didn’t even see coming.
  • BE HAPPY. You deserve happiness. YOU CAN BE HAPPY. You are in control.
  • It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to say no. BREATHE MAMA, BREATHE.

.. and a million others… but you get the point by now!

Now that I have drilled into your head that you need book, go get it… NOW GIRLFRIEND! It will change your life, I pinky promise!

(I will post some of my favorite parts from the book below! Those quotes alone should be enough to make you jump on Amazon or Audible right now… they’re SOOOO GOOD!)

-Paige

“Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.”

“Comparison is the death of all joy, and the only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday.”

“If you’re unhappy, that’s on you.”

“Whatever is going to give you more time, more space, more freedom to find your center? Say yes please, to that!”

“You are worthy of wanting something more.”

“Embracing chaos might be the journey to finding peace.”

“Nobody will ever care about your dreams as much as you do.”

“Our words have power, but our actions shape our lives.”

“I can’t condone a world where women are emotionally abusing themselves because they don’t think they’re good enough.”

“Turns out, the most beautiful things in my life were never on my to-do list.”

The Toughest Part About Being A Parent

Lack of sleep. No privacy. Less freedom to do what you want. Those are the top answers most people will come up with if you were to ask them what’s the hardest part about being a parent (don’t get me wrong, all of that sucks sometimes too!)… but the #1 answer all parents can agree on is one that doesn’t get mentioned too often.

The toughest part about parenting? How quickly time passes by.

Hands down. Without a shadow of a doubt. That’s the correct answer.

I read an article the other day about how we only get 18 summers with our children & to make the most of each one of them. Y’all… that hit this mama HARD. 18 isn’t a large number. And it hurts even worse to realize it because it’s sooo true! We have 18 summers for vacations, for swimming, , for no alarm clocks, for sleeping in late, for staying up even later. 18 summers for meals replaced with ice cream, wearing swim suits every day, wet footprints tracking all over the house, chalk covering the driveway which will then progress to their future friends cars blocking you in the driveway (and I can’t even rap my mind around that concept right now).

Witnessing your children grow up before your eyes is a beautiful experience. Seeing them learn new things & develop their own little personalities is priceless. And so is time (and it goes by so stinking fast!).

Cherish these moments, mama! Let the house be messy for a few extra hours, days, or weeks (we won’t push it any further than that, because we all know that could get disastrous lol). Those messes are memories! Let the kids eat a few extra popsicles, those popsicles are contributing to some cute, sticky, little handprints all over the place (it’s okay, it will wash off)! Let that laundry pile up a little bit more (it’s never-ending anyways). Plan that family vacation you have been debating for so long.

And if you’re one of those mamas that’s already running around taking your kiddos all over the world for different summer activities, it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to have those lazy days in your pajamas. It’s okay to take things down a notch every now & then & truly enjoy the scenery. Don’t feel guilty for being lazy every once in a while, you deserve it!

Enjoy that house full of laughter. Enjoy those long road trips that may or may not make you want to pull your own hair out. Enjoy the chaos. ENJOY THIS TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY.

Be silly. Be messy. Be adventurous. Be the parent you know you want to be!

-Paige

Lifting Up vs Tearing Down: The Problem With Social Media

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If you’re my friend on Facebook you’re probably thinking “Oh, here she goes again” because I wrote a rather lengthy Facebook post addressing this subject, but… it clearly needs to be talked about more than once. So, here I am, again, talking about this nonsense.

I have an extreme hate/kinda hate even more/sometimes love relationship with social media. All forms of it. It can be used for so many positive things like spreading awareness or connecting with long-lost relatives or marketing your business, etc. So, here I am, still on social media. But, what do I see WAY more than those positive uses? Bullying. Criticism. Hatefulness. 

Nerd alert: I am a HUGE American Idol fan this season (don’t worry, you can still keep reading if you aren’t an AI fan – it’s not the point of what I’m getting at). I am beyond excited for the finale tonight. I think I am even more excited for this season over any other, because I truly do not care who wins. I love them all in their own ways. Heck, I’ve loved every contestant this season because American Idol gave us so much more about them this time than just their singing abilities. The audience learned so much about their lives, their families, their passions, their personalities – all of it. They were so vulnerable. So real. And as the big fan that I am, I got on the American Idol Facebook page and decided to read some comments to see who everyone was rooting for. BIG MISTAKE. There was hardly any rooting or cheering on for anyone. It was just bashing of who they DIDN’T want to win the competition.

Why? That is literally the only word I can ever think of when I come across these things. Why do we have to be so mean? Don’t get me wrong, if you have a favorite (I’m not just talking about this show, I’m talking about in any aspect of life) – CHEER THEM ON! But, don’t tear others down in the process. Everyone left (and pretty much for the whole competition) is extremely young. I’m talking teens/early 20’s… and there are GROWN ASS ADULTS on the internet bashing them for their looks (which is just mean… especially about a CHILD), their confidence (which I mean, hell, to put up with mean folks on the internet you better have some confidence to protect yourself! And for the ones that don’t have any, I see why. I wouldn’t be confident either knowing I would just get o the internet later and see people talking crap about me), their singing (which makes no sense because clearly they have talent or they wouldn’t be on the damn show in the first place)… I mean literally bullying these kids who are just chasing their dreams. WHY?

I saw this all over the internet over the weekend too, in regards to the royal wedding. Meghan’s dress was boring, her makeup was minimal (ummm if I naturally looked like her I wouldn’t wear any makeup either. SHE DOESN’T NEED IT, have you seen her?), Kate was a better bride, blah blah blah. YOU GUYS. It was THEIR wedding day. She picked the dress (which cost more than most of our houses) that SHE wanted. SHE liked it, and that’s all that matters because it was her damn day. And Harry was loving it, did you see that lip bite he did when he looked at her?!

This is something I am very passionate about for some reason because I truly love the differences in people. I think I drive my husband crazy sometimes because he will make a comment about a house or a truck or something similar that he doesn’t care for and I just always reply with “but that person likes it, that’s why they bought it.” We all have different likes and dislikes. AND THAT IS A GOOD THING! Just because someone likes or believes something you don’t does not make them any less of a person. Our differences are beautiful. They make us unique. They don’t give us the right to bash one another.

The point of this is… SET AN EXAMPLE. This is why so many people are so self conscious and afraid to chase their dreams. They are not only afraid of rejection, they are afraid of ridicule.

If you’re a parent… imagine your baby getting up on a stage in front of a bunch of strangers, extremely vulnerable, just wanting to make a career for themselves. What if there was a picture posted from your child’s wedding day and you get on Facebook or Instagram or whatever and see people bashing your child. How would you feel? How do you think your child would feel if they read that? Those people ARE someone’s baby. They ARE real people with REAL feelings… just like you & your babies.

Bullying is a real thing, y’all. And it starts with the adults/parents. We have to set an example for our children. If they see grown adults typing/saying these things about children, of course they are going to think it’s okay to do so as well! Bullying takes lives. Bullying takes our children. 

Set an example. Be an example. Be happy for other’s happiness. 

-Paige

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” – James Keller

How Babies Can Change Your Marriage

 

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Today is our 6 year wedding anniversary! (Which is weird to say since we didn’t have a wedding… we just hit up the JP one Friday afternoon lol). Nonetheless, we’ve been hitched for 6 years out of the (almost) 12 we have been together!

Anyways, I wanted to share how your marriage may change after bringing some extra little humans into the mix!

After Kyson was born I had never in my life loved my husband more than I did in those first few weeks. I mean I didn’t even know I could love him that much after watching him become a dad & how he loved me as a mom + wife. We have been together since we were 15-year-old kids, so through the puppy love stage, the newlywed stage, and now the new baby stage… this time was my favorite of them all. BUT, once he went back to work things weren’t as easy (at least in my perspective). I was home all day with the baby & SO looking forward to seeing Amaris when he would come home. And yeah, he would come home happy to see us, but work was back on his mind so his attention was now divided between us & business. Honestly, it was an adjustment for me. I was still on this new baby high & it kind of came crashing down when reality starts easing its way back in (along with lack of sleep).

I went back to work after Kyson was 6-weeks-old (thank goodness for my mother who watched him at our house to help make the transition so much easier). And after going back to work, things got even more rough for me. The stress of both of us working, these new financial responsibilities, coming home and devoting all of our attention/time to the baby and not to one another, it was hard y’all. I’m talking about 5 months in we eventually had a serious conversation on what the heck was going to happen to our marriage because we were just acting as parents and not spouses.

BUT – it was just an adjustment. We had to adjust. We did adjust. And it made us stronger. It made us unbelievably stronger, happier, and more appreciative of one another.

And now with baby #2 just being added to bunch, it’s a breeze (in our marriage, not the parenthood thing haha)! Don’t get me wrong, there are nights I look over at him sleeping soundly while I’m up in the middle of the night with the baby & want to strangle him, but that’s just the sleep deprivation taking over (I hope lol).

We struggle ALL THE TIME with going on dates & making time for each other, that’s just the reality of having a busy life (Zoe is almost 3-months-old and we still haven’t gone on a date night yet… oops!). But, one thing we do consistently is spend time together in the evenings & mornings when the kids are in bed. It may not be much, but that little bit of quality together each day really means a lot to a marriage!

Marriage is T O U G H. It’s hard work. It’s not easy in the slightest. But it’s worth it. Having a family is worth it. Showing love to one another for your children to see is worth it. You & your spouse are worth it!

-Paige

Mom Motivation: Getting Back To ‘You’!

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Long time no see, friends!

Mom life of two has kept me pretty busy, clearly! In the midst of all this motherhood chaos I wanted to take a minute to write about something that has really helped me the past few weeks to find my new groove as a SAHM.

The first few weeks home with a baby are nothing short of insanity. There’s not much sleep, you’re lucky to get a shower every few days, dry shampoo is your best friend, spit-up is your new accessory to all of your outfits, laundry is piled up for days (maybe even weeks), the dirty bottles seem to be multiplying by the minute in the sink, and your heart is full of so much love and joy it could absolutely burst!

It seems as if you’re never going to gain control of anything and you damn sure feel like any hope of any kind of daily schedule is just straight out of the window. We have ALL felt like that (or still do)! M O M L I F E literally turns you into a hot mess. HOT, with one T. Not the the sexy hott that requires two T’s. You’ll eventually get that second T back mama, just hang in there!

A few weeks ago I honestly just felt a little hopeless. I felt lonely, I felt like everything was always so chaotic, I felt insecure, and I felt like I didn’t know what the hell I was doing honestly. I’m so used to everything being on a schedule and being able to control every little situation, then you throw a baby in the mix of that… well those days are dunzo for the time being.

Then I began a bootcamp program to not only try and help shed some of this baby weight, but to get me out of the dang house! Y’all, there’s nothing more depressing than sitting at the house all of the time. GET OUT OF THERE! (I mean, not all of the time. Those days where I don’t get out of my pajamas and binge watch Hulu/Netflix are just as amazing… but those should be occasions, not daily things.) I was able to get out of the house, be around other women/moms trying to better themselves, and I was making myself feel better by doing some exercise! It got me motivated! Motivated to get my life back on track, on a schedule, and to feel better about myself.

Bootcamp is a little intense for someone who just had a baby so I am not going as much as I was at the beginning (my 27-year-old knees are acting like 77-year-old knees and hurting pretty bad), but I have started walking 3 times a week while my oldest kiddo is at school. Me & the baby meet up with a friend at a local trail & walk about 4 miles each day (and we may or may not go get lunch a margarita afterward… because hello, we deserve it)! This time not only gives me some burned calories, but girl time to chat, and me & Zoe get to get out and enjoy the fresh air & sunshine!

Walking with a friend is much more attainable for most moms. It’s FREE, you can go based on your own schedule, and it’s FUN! What’s holding you back?!

Get motivated. Get moving. You don’t even have to incorporate exercise into this. If you just want to go eat lunch on the patio at your favorite restaurant with your friend(s) a couple times a week… GO DO IT! You have no idea how much better you will feel about yourself once you start doing something for YOU! Getting out of those pj’s every once in a while really does make you feel better! A dab of makeup really does make you feel like your life is somewhat in order for that day. Talking to a friend IN PERSON really does make such a difference in your well-being.

So, mama… here’s to you! Get out there and do YOU! Be your own damn sunshine!

-Paige