The Struggle: The Mom (of 2) Edition

This post is brought to you by…

A girl (I can’t call myself a woman, that seems weird to me. Yes, I am in my late 20’s, but lets be honest – I still feel like a kid that thrown into adulthood out of nowhere most of the time) named Paige that really is just trying to get her shit together.

Struggle #1: Time Management

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Y’all… I’m not sure if I can accurately explain to you how hard this is with two children. And maybe it will get easier when they get older (LORD PLEASE let it get easier when they get older), but this is like… right below child birth on the scale of difficulty. Let me just break this down for you to give you a better idea of our typical mornings here at the Ortiz residence when I’m alone with the kiddos:

  • Start feeding baby
  • 3-year-old wakes up and needs you to help him change out of his pajamas into his clothes for the day (but remember, you are trying to hold a newborn and feed her a bottle at the same time)
  • Get toddler dressed, get his breakfast ready, help him use his inhaler, get him settled with some morning cartoons so you can attempt to finish feeding the screaming baby
  • Start feeding the baby attempt #2, burp the baby, baby spits up all over herself and you (because God blessed with me two beautiful children, two beautiful children that always spit up. always.)
  • Go to change baby’s clothes/diaper
  • While changing baby’s diaper, toddler runs in screaming he needs to poop
  • Put baby’s diaper/clothes on, set her down so you can help toddler wipe his butt (because Lord knows if you don’t do it for him there would be shit everywhere)
  • Baby begins screaming, because GUESS WHAT?! She just pooped, too.
  • Start changing her diaper AGAIN. And now guess what? Every time you put a new diaper on her, she poops a little bit more. Therefore, one diaper change turns into about 7 until she’s finally done.
  •  Walk into living room with happy baby to find toddler has taken all of his clothes off because he wants to change his Superman underwear to Spider-Man underwear
  • OH and you still have spit up all over you from earlier, and haven’t even began to get yourself ready for the day
  • Re-dress toddler, fix his hair, help him brush his teeth
  • Tell toddler to put shoes on
  • Attempt to go in your own room and put clean clothes on
  • Baby starts crying, toddler starts yelling that baby is crying
  • Toddler still doesn’t have shoes on, so now you have to yell at him to put them on
  • Walk into kitchen to make toddler’s lunch
  • By this time baby is crying because she’s hungry again… (because everything before this took up HOURS of time to accomplish)

… I could keep going but SURELY by this point you get the idea. AND THIS IS WHY I AM TWO HOURS LATE TO EVERYTHING IN LIFE. Literally. When my husband has to work early and I get the lovely privilege of having to take Kye to school (I love taking him to school, but when you have to lug in a heavy ass car seat with an 11 lbs baby in it… not so much. I pray daily that his school starts a drop off line in the near future!)… we come rolling in around 10:00 am… because of the monstrosity I just listed above.

If you invite us to a birthday party, we will be late. If you invite us to lunch/dinner, we will be late. If you expect us to be somewhere at a certain time, just give up all hope.

Struggle #2: Body After Babies

HAHAHAHA. All I can do is laugh at this.

One baby – body will never be the same, but it can get pretty close. Two babies – LOL.

Example: I just attempted to do a 10-minute workout via YouTube… and yes I survived it but, my legs now feel like jello and I’m not 100% certain I am going to be able to stand up after I’m done typing this.

It’s honestly a cruel joke. I am one month postpartum and I feel amazing (emphasis on FEEL, not look. The way I look after baby #2 is a whole different story. I wasn’t blessed with those Kylie Jenner genes). My body healed so much faster and easier after Zoe than with Kye. So, naturally you think you can jump back into things quicker because, well hell you feel good! N O P E. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m older than when I had Kye or if it’s the whole second baby thing… BUT DAMN. I feel freakin’ fabulous until I try and do a squat. I would go into detail but just know, it all goes downhill from there.

OHHHH and… You want to eat healthy and shed this baby fat, right? You get that mindset and then you log into freakin’ Facebook and here comes Blue Bell with a post releasing their new flavor. CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE DOUGH. My three favorite things. SATAN WHY ARE YOU AFTER ME?!

Now I can’t let myself go into any grocery store for the next 6 months because I know the little devil on my shoulder will be whispering in my ear to push that buggy right on over to the frozen section.

I’ll stop with the struggles for now. I’ll do more in a different post after I figure these two out (it may be a while – don’t get your hopes up folks haha!).

But.. serious food for thought: This is why moms don’t need to mommy-shame one another. We are all just out here riding the mommy struggle bus (2 hours late lol) and trying our hardest to not only be good moms/wives, but survive it all as well. 

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If you’re a mom, you got this! We all do. It may not seem like it half the damn time, but we do! To save yourself some sanity, get out of the house! Reach out to other mom friends & have play dates. Go have lunch. Go to Target (even though we all already go there… daily). Don’t forget about yourself!

If you have friends with kids – be patient. Show them you care for them. Make them feel like they are more than just a mom. Be their sister, laugh at their funny stories about the gross stuff their kids did, be their listener, bring them wine, be there.

If you’re a husband who made it through all of that and kept reading to this point – be patient, too. Your wife has a lot going on. Mentally, physically, and emotionally (we know we are acting crazy, just go with it). Be her person. And just always remember: she’s trying.  

“Let’s root for each other and watch each other grow.”

 

The Support: What All Women Need & Need To Give

It’s about to get real, y’all.

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” Seems simple. But, for women it seems impossible. Literally. Besides the select few of you I have met that I have never heard a fowl word come out of our mouth about another person (I praise you for that, BTW).

Y’all… Why is it so hard to support one another? This is something that has been on my mind a lot lately (and also something I have been trying to be more conscious about for myself – I’m not pointing fingers here, this post is for everyone. INCLUDING me.)

If your “friend” (I put this in quotations because I mean that word as in either a real friend, a social media friend, or an acquaintance) has a small business… SUPPORT THEM. That goes for retail, beauty/skin care, photography, etc. If you can’t afford her services, THAT IS OKAY. Share her business posts, participate in giveaways, tell her you’re proud of her, refer her to your girlfriends! If your “friend” starts up a new hobby for fun (maybe she is a SAHM that just wants something for herself *wink wink*)… SUPPORT HER. If your “friends” husband runs his own business and is their main source of income… SUPPORT HIM. If your “friend” is putting her/himself out there to be vulnerable on the internet to expand themselves and/or business… SUPPORT THEM. If your “friend” is on a weight loss/fitness journey… MY GOD YOU BETTER SUPPORT HER/HIM! OR even a spiritual journey… SUPPORT ‘EM! And lastly, if your friend is doing none of these things… SUPPORT HER. She may be nervous to open up to others, she may be shy, she may be afraid of rejection, she may just not even have the time to juggle anything extra, or she may just not want to… support her by BEING THERE for her. Being a REAL friend. 

Okay, I stepped off that soap box. On to my next one.

My main point of this post is because as I started this blog and shared my first post with you guys… I HAD SO MUCH SUPPORT. Like, an insane amount. I received private messages from people (mainly moms who love to read things like this & feel understood) saying how excited they were and couldn’t wait to read more. Y’all, I literally thought this was going to get no attention. I just wanted to do this for the fun of it. Because I truly love to write (hence why if you call me, I’m more than likely just going to wait for the phone to stop ringing and text you to ask you what’s up, haha). But, to see so many people supporting me in this new random hobby… it means the world!

…AND THEN. There’s always that one person. You know, the one person who has to be negative. The one person who has to try and ruin the good thing you had going. (Similar to that one person in class that ALWAYS had something to say to the teacher when everyone else was ready to get the hell out of there.) WHYYYYYYY? If I have ever in my life been “that person” to someone (either intentionally or by mistake) my Lord I sincerely apologize AND I hope I am never “that person” again.

If you are “friends” with someone on social media and you see them post something and you have a negative thought about it – DELETE THEM. Don’t be their “friend” on social media if you can’t be a a friend in real life. Remove yourself from the equation. Remove them from your friends list so you won’t even have those negative thoughts. *Cue Paige getting removed from 157 Facebook friends lists at this exact moment LOL* But seriously, do it. Another alternative to that: challenge yourself to think something positive about that person instead. There’s good in everyone – you just have to be open to embracing it. Negativity – ain’t nobody got time for dat. (Is that still a relevant saying? Probably not, but you get the point.)

Does the world really need another mom blog? No, you’re right – probably not. There’s enough of them out there. I’m aware. But, this is my little way of expressing myself and even if no one ever reads this – I was able to be ME for a moment.

What I DO KNOW is – the world damn sure doesn’t need anymore negativity. THAT IS A FACT MY FRIENDS.

So, be you. Sell that makeup. Post those clothes you took the time to make. Share those before/after pictures of the hair cuts, spray tans, etc. you worked your magic on. Start a blog. Go back to school. Quit your awful ass job (jk – think this one through first. But girl if you’re not happy… LEAVE).

Don’t let that one negative comment or person stop you from being you. There’s more support out there than you think. 🙂

-Paige

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The Story

Welcome, y’all! 

I have loved writing for… ever, really. So, I figured why not start putting that passion along with everyday life into a little something we all know as a blog. Now, I never in a million years would have thought I would start one of these things, but you know, life happens. You get married, have children, sit at the house covered in spit-up all day and magically start to think people might care to read about your life… That’s what stay-at-home moms do, right?! So, let’s get this party started, shall we?

A little intro:

My name is Paige, I am currently 27-years-old, I am married to my high school sweetheart and we have two children: Kyson “Kye” (age 3) and Zoe James (3 weeks/fresh out the womb). I live in the same town in East Texas that I was born and raised in and just recently went from being a working mom to a stay-at-home-mom (along with helping my husband with his construction company because let’s face it – I love the man and all, but when it comes to paperwork he is about as organized as a T.J.Maxx sale rack.)

… Now all that sounds so sweet and basic, huh? Well, that’s why I REALLY wanted to start this blog. Everyone sees ^ THAT^ on Facebook and Instagram, but on here, Paige wants to get REAL. (Like the real fact that I just had to walk away from this laptop and change a poopy diaper. Or the real fact that before I started typing this I devoured a sh*t ton of chocolate chip cookies so my toddler won’t try to eat them all when he gets home from preschool. OR that while I was eating those cookies I was simultaneously bawling my eyes out watching last nights episode of American Idol.) I want this blog to not be the highlight reel we see from everyone on social media, but the REAL reel: The good, the bad, the gross, the anxiety, the laughs, the tears, the embarrassing, and every “Paige” in between (see what I did there? Paige… page. Yeah.)

A few more little facts before we jump into this: I love Jesus, but I cuss a little (okay, A LOT). I live off caffeine, and just recently added red wine to that list (two kids will do that to ya. Also, I’m 98% positive that everyone with more than two kids has to be an undercover alcoholic). And I say “y’all” even more than I cuss. Brace yourselves for this southern mess of a mama blog, y’all. (See, I told you.)

Stay tuned 😉

-Paige

Family 2017

 

“Parenthood: the scariest kind of hood  you will ever go through.”